George Bush was in Idaho this week. I knew I felt a disturbance in the force. About the only thing that the conservative majority of Idaho has ever criticzed that man for was not visiting the "Great State of Idaho". (Yes, Idaho is a great state, but I HATE IT when politicians use that prefix when referring to their constituency. It's like a band in concert referring to the host city in a song; it's a cheap reaction.) If you want a man who is busy with 5 week vacations, sending America's youth off to die and snowing the American public into thinking it's our duty to force democracy on others (prime directive mean anything to ya Bush?) to visit your state, try not blindly voting for whoever has "Republican" listed under their name.

He was here to do some mountain biking. This I want to see. Not because I don't believe it, just because I want to see it. You see, when politicians talk about skiing or cycling or any other hobby they partake in, it's always interesting to see what level they are at. Most of the time, they are at a pretty low level, and that's expected since they have more important stuff to do than drive to Stanley for a weekend and plant secret service all over Fisher Creek. But I was mildly surprised when I saw video of John Kerry snowboarding in SV. He didn't look like a first timer, although I'm sure, like everything a politician does, there is a hope that images of recreation act as subliminal cues to make participants in that activity "identify" with you. Now, I was a Kerry fan to begin with, and I would never vote for someone because they snowboard, or ski or mountain bike, but yes, those pictures of him carving turns down Warm Springs, a run I have skied numerous times myself, made me feel like this was a person I like as well as respect.

So Bush, I invite you, to gain a little of my "like" (you'll probably never get respect) and come mountain biking with me. No camera's, no politics, a free pass for you to spend some saddle time with a mountain biker (I'll u-bolt the flaming liberal to a tree for the duration of our ride) and we can both enjoy an escape from reality. And it won't take 5 weeks.

I'm starting it again, and my guarantee to you, the reader is that I will work my ass off to see that you have access to as much of my trite ramblings as I can muster.

As Otis is singing right now, "You don't miss your water 'till your well runs dry." That's the case for the last 52 days as I've been dealing with the bike crash that ruined 2005 (see evidence on left).

The good news is that the wound has closed and I can begin to ride again. The bad news is that I developed a blood clot while my leg was immobile and due to vein damage and swelling my calves are now horribly mismatched. (Imagine bad Vito Corleone impression)"Look what they did to my little boy!" Mild pain will be a part of my left leg for the near future, but thankfully I have support hose to help me in activity. I have enough people in Idaho thinking I'm gay that I don't need panty hose on top of it. The hardest part is finding a garter belt that fits and is stylish at the same time.

Anti-coagulants will force me to avoid any risky situations like racing and rock climbing and restrict my S&M activities to light bondage and tickling. Oh well, all that leather wear was getting expensive anyway. The thing with blood thinners is that their effect can be compounded by excessive alcohol. I kind of knew this, but after a trip to Wisconsin, they tested my blood and apparently it was thinner than a whisky and water at a $20 cover strip club. But what am I supposed to do? Going to Wisconsin and not drinking is like going to Disney World and getting your picture with that Friar Tuck dog thing from Robin Hood instead of Mickey. So anyway, my blood is too thin, which made me wonder, why am I shelling out $10 for a months supply for blood thinners when apparently a couple of cases of PBR/week will do just fine. I guess those would be perscriptions in the Mason City Hospital where nurses looked like Darryl Hannah in Kill Bill and every needle came with a shot of Jack.

Shake the Dew From the Lilly, Randy
As a Packer fan (albeit a fair weather Packer fan) I feel it my obligation to speak about Sunday's debacle. Keep in mind, I still have minor Schadenfreud (perverse pleasure in someone elses failure) for the Packers since they steal attention away from the Brewers... perhaps deservedly so.

First of all, I have never felt more guilty about my pessimism than I did after that loss. I am the little black rain cloud when it comes to the '04 Packers. All week I was playing it safe, saying that even though many in the national media had the Pack dismissing the Vi-Queens easily, I couldn't help but think that the ladies in Purple could win this one. I don't know how many times I heard, "Lambeau Field" used as the main reason why the Pack would win. Guess what, Green Bay was 4-4 at Lambeau this season. .500 at home is hardly worthy of the great John Facenda's "FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD" introduction. Then I heard that the Packer's had the Vikings number this season. Well, if that number was 6 (the amount we beat them buy total in 2 games). Let's face it, in football, luck can play a big role in the closing seconds of a game, and both wins were on last minute field goals. Then there was the "Randy Moss as a negative to the team" factor. I wasn't buying that either. Fact is, the guy is still a talent and if he has a big day, forget it. He may look like Buckwheat and he may make Terrell Owens seem like a model citizen, but you can't deny he has game.

Well, turns out I was right... and I couldn't feel worse for it. Mainly because many of my friends know much more about this team and more about football in general and they all seem to have blind faith in the Pack. Yet here I am, doubting Thomas, saying the sky is falling and even though I turned out to be right, I realized that even if I was wrong, more than likely no one would call me on it since they would all be too happy they won. So considering that, I am wondering if I should be a more positive person... BULLSHIT. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Still sounds good to me. It was like my friend who before the season said, "Bears. There's two wins there." I wasn't so sure and reminded him of the years when as mediocre as we were, we sometimes managed to eek one out against the Bears. Remember the Majkowski over the line game at soldier? Tell me Ditka didn't smile when Favre threw that TD pass 10 yards past the line. Anyway, I wasn't writing the bears off, and guess what, they punked us at home... way to go Mase.

I should add something on Randy Moss' end zone shennanigans. First off, I have never liked end zone celebrations, but I hardly think what he did was the end of the world. He was excited because he was winning and all though it wasn't the classiest thing to do, how many of us have ever taken a bit of glee of rubbing someones face in it. I think we all have at some point. Compare this to what Jake Plummer did and I wonder why we are even bothered by this. Plummer failed and in a moment of bitterness, showed his contempt for his own fans. Moss succeeded in face of a hostile environment and in my opinion, deserves a touch more slack. Sure, I don't like a Viking wiping his ass on Lambeaus goal post, but if you don't want that to happen... STOP HIM.

In closing, I'll say that after seeing that end zone celebration, we are not long for a player holding the ball in front of his hips as if peeing, shaking the "dew from the lilly" and zipping up. As tasteless as it is, you got to admit, it would feel good to be in the situation where you could do it. In front of 60,000 people that are cheering for you to fail... to the victor go the spoils.